I stand alone


I move forward
I have help – yes
But in the end I stand alone

I stand alone
Because that what it takes to connect

I Stand alone
Because I am the one that is there

I stand alone
Because all I am is myself

I stand alone
Because when I am truly seen for being me

I will no longer stand alone.

© William J. Ham, 4 September, 2010

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Caresses


Caresses, expressions of one sort or another, are necessary to the life of the affections as leaves are to the life of a tree. If they are wholly restrained, love will die at the roots.

– Nathaniel Hawthorne

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Turning away


 

I am sitting and listening
Waiting for my turn

The notes in the wind are mellow
They are soothing while still matter of fact

The wind changes direction
The notes, though different
Mellow still

The wind changes direction again
And the notes do too

Stop

Something familiar

I listen to the music
The twists and turns on the theme
Although subtle, I start to recognize it

The theme is hidden, but starts to emerge
As the song continues

I know it

It is the same song I had heard
Someplace else
And had turned away from

A song that was at first soothing
But then turned to poison
That if it touched the skin – it would burn
And cause pain throughout

It is a different instrument
So was not immediately evident
Because it sounded different and the song did not start the same

It started as something else
Easy, then complex
Then chaotic

In the underlying theme
I realize that the song is common

At least common to me

I have heard it many times in the past
I have hoped that the song would be replaced
Not necessarily by a long symphony
Or a short composition

Replaced just by simple notes

That brings light and a smile
Short or long – it doesn’t matter
Not the foreboding and melancholy

I wish to be a writer of music
But, in my life, when I have tried, the notes turn flat

I now realize that I must be tone-deaf
When I try to write

So maybe I stop trying to write all together
My notes don’t work and the music falls flat
I guess I am not supposed to be a song writer

But a listener

In the audience

Destine to watch.

© William J. Ham, 4 September, 2010

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Frame of Mind


They say it is a frame of mind
Thoughts
Attitudes
Sometimes needs

But what happens when there is no frame….

© William J. Ham, 1 September, 2010

 

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Smile


 

If you really care for someone – and I mean really care

there doesn’t have to be a why

only that uncontrollable smile

when you think of that person

and that moment that became yours together…..

© William J. Ham, 1 September, 2010

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The Desert


I am alone in The Desert

Sun, searing, unforgiving, in a cloudless sky
Hard packed sand below my feet
The heat rises up through to my soul

From my respite I scan the horizon for something and see a familiar sight….nothing
I have been in this godforsaken place for I do not know how long
I cannot remember how I got here
And where I was before…

A hot wind picks up

The sharp sand pelts my tatters and cuts into my face
It covers the footprints in the sand that precede me
and readies the path before me.

Move on!

I take a few tentative steps forward
My stable foothold transitions back into loose sand.

I had hoped this firmament would have supported me further in my trek
But I am happy to have at least that little bit to help me rest and collect myself


I have been struggling through The Desert the past few
Days?
Weeks?
Months?

I’ve lost any concept of the passage of time other than

I am here now
I was back there a while ago
And I will be somewhere down there over that next dune

I don’t know where I am going
I think I did
But that thought left me a few dunes in back of me.

This effort is stripping me down, layer by layer.

Until what is left is me?

Move on!

Now all I have is to move forward
Over the next dune and the next
Trudging forward
Sand sapping my strength with every step
The wind pelting my face
The heat searing my skin
Making my trek even more difficult and dulling my resolve
My heart melting in the effort

Until someone finds me in my desert
Or I find them

And we walk out together.

© William J. Ham, 28 August, 2010

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New


Sitting in a grove
miles away
only the wind in the trees

The smell of her hair
the sweetness in her eyes
the curve of her mouth
the gentle laugh
the hushed tones

always special
always new

Not wanting to disturb the moment
forever
frozen in time……

© William J. Ham, 23 August, 2010

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